Dear 50 Cent,
I hope this letter finds you well and you are up to a great start this week. If so, doxology.
Five days ago, a colleague sent this to me on WhatsApp: "For my scammers, I gotta do this one. Hushpuppi series coming soon! GLG GreenLightGang. I don't miss," and attributed it to you.
He accompanied it with a phone call excitedly informing me you would be producing a movie series on jailed Nigerian fraudster, Ramon Abbas, popularly known as Hushpuppi.
"It's a lie!" I spilled the juice I was sipping while having a late lunch. I have quietly watched and studied Hushpuppi from afar — via social media screens — and I dare say, with much amazement. However, a movie series on him? I burst into laughter and ran to your Instagram page for fact-checking.
Thousands of Nigerians excited
Lo and behold, more than 5,000 of my fellow Nigerians were already there on my first visit. By my next visit — when the bright skies had given way to pitch darkness — there were already over 11,000 Nigerians gushing, debating, and cussing themselves on your page.
What caught my attention in their debates was that you should cast a Nigerian actor in your upcoming Hushpuppi series.
Honestly, that's not a tall order, methinks.
50 Cent, a Hushpuppi series, is supposed to be a biographical film based on the life of a fraudster with such flamboyant notoriety. After all, we are talking about an Instagram influencer who boasted nearly 3 million followers and one who allegedly attempted to launder $13 million (€12.4 million) that a group of North Korean hackers had stolen from the Maltese Bank of Valletta. The cybercrime nearly plunged the European island into pandemonium when payment networks shut down.
So, I think a Nigerian playing Hushpuppi will save you time and trouble of getting an American actor to fake our Nigerian accent. Sorry to inform you, but doing otherwise would be pretty cheap and horrendous.
Who should play Hushpuppi?
For starters, I believe the actor who will play Hushpuppi must have a convincing physical resemblance with Hushpuppi — albeit slightly. A must-not-to-be ignored is the size of his tummy. It must be round enough to stretch his Gucci, Louis Vuitton, and other designer clothes that Hushpuppi was famously known for.
The chosen character should have the Hushpuppi mien: a very calm smile delivered through red lips devoid of malicious or devilish appearances. Hushpuppi is a sweet guy, the life of the party, ever-smiling and generous. He scammed others — mostly the rich — and gave some of his ill-gotten wealth to his fans, who are primarily strugglers and hustlers. In other words, he was to some people, the Nigerian 'robbing hood.'
According to a local publication, two imams reportedly appealed for leniency, noting that Hushpuppi frequently supported widows and orphans and donated to food programs.
No doubt, Hushpuppi was cunning. Scamming 1.9 million people globally is no easy feat — but he was never and is not violent. Having studied him for so long, I tell you with absoluteness that he has this peculiar and unique gentility while carrying himself and his suitcases loaded with millions of dollars. Your chosen character should have this, and plenty of Nigerian actors can portray him convincingly.
Also, did you see his video chat with his friend after he was sentenced to 11 years in prison? How he spoke with that gentle, innocent, goofy laughter notwithstanding he would be behind bars for so long? So, kindly avoid picking a hard-looking-and-mafia-kinda-personality for this role.
Some pitfalls to avoid
50, you have honestly got us salivating and awaiting this big one from you. However, it would be painful should the series focus on Hushpuppis' luxurious lifestyle and crime without nailing the authenticity of his accent and where he comes from. Don't you think so?
On your Instagram page, renowned British actor Idris Elba was a popular suggestion. But, please, let it die on your page. Nothing against Elba, but he is far from Hushpuppi. How will he speak the Nigerian pidgin, Yoruba language, Nigerian English, the Hushpuppi-way? Sure he could learn it, but hmm…don't be tempted. Nothing beats the original!
So who's that Nigerian actor that can do justice to this role? Sincerely, I can't think of any at the moment. But here is what I would suggest to you.
Kindly go through your comments on that post. I know it is so much work, but I saw some potential people who could fit well in that role. It'll be interesting to see how the production turns out.
Lest I forget 50, it might not be a bad idea for you to pick up where Hushpuppi left in helping the less fortunate once you reap profits from the series. Only this time, please don't scam anyone.
Thanks for your time.
Warmly,
Tobore Ovuorie
Edited by: Chrispin Mwakideu