Tinder's polar opposite
June 2, 2014
If there is anyone out there whose memory still goes back farther than the last tweet, they will remember the American standup comedian, Jerry Seinfeld.
It must have been in the 90s when Seinfeld compared first dates to "a job interview that lasts all night."
Today, you'd be lucky if you get past 12 minutes.
One person's bathroom break on a date is the other's invitation to peek at Tinder or Grindr (if the date isn't going well) - or to live text the possibility of a homerun (if it is).
And yet amidst this mass potential for digital copulation two women in Berlin have created a website that adds a dash of the old to an untamed world of online dating.
Jule Müller and Anni Kralisch-Pehlke's online dating magazine, Im Gegenteil, likes to editorialize. The featured products are the singles, both gay and straight, looking for love.
Though there are only about 100 profiles on the site at the moment, Im Gegenteil and its dating blog generate tens of thousands of visits monthly from around Germany, Austria, and Switzerland.
Singles magazine
It could be a new way to help singles connect by melding the traditionally pricey services of a matchmaker with the efficiency of the Internet.
"We call it a single's magazine, not a dating platform," says Müller. "And it's not just for singles but for anyone who wants to read it. We know that lots of couples look at it, too."
Müller and Kralisch-Pehlke said hundreds of people from around Europe have applied to be profiled on the site.
The profiles are intimate. The founders say they spend up to three hours interviewing the singles in their homes, and usually require a day to compile one profile. This includes photographing each applicant in their natural surroundings - whether that's lounging in the kitchen or hanging out around town. It feels like a glossy lifestyle magazine.
Newer profiles feature videos of the singles.
"You have the text and photos of the person in his or her home," Kralisch-Pehlke says. "So if you want to write to someone on our site, you have something to work with. Tinder, on the other hand, is just a meat market. It's harder to start a meaningful conversation."
A contact form at the bottom of each profile allows anyone on the Internet to message the single through the site.
German media have called Im Gegenteil Tinder's antithesis, and Müller and Kralisch-Pehlke don't dispute this.
"You've got like 30 chat partners at a time on Tinder," Müller says. "If one person can't meet you, you just go on to the next. But we say that things have got too fast and no one wants to commit anymore. What we are doing is offering a slow-dating option."
Hipster alert
Mark-Michael Kahl, 34, an account manager in Berlin, has just been added to the site.
He says he applied to be profiled on Im Gegenteil because it was more appealing than the Internet dating apps that he had tried in the past.
"It was so friendly and so charming," says Kahl. "I liked the whole thing, the pictures and how everything was written."
When he applied, he did not think he would get a call back. Yet three days later, Müller and Kralisch-Pehlke contacted him and offered to profile him.
"I just applied on the website," he says. "And they replied by email. Then we had a short chat. That was it."
Müller and Kralisch-Pehlke keep in touch with singles on Im Gegenteil through a closed Facebook group open only to users. The duo earn money on the site through product reviews and wine giveaways. They plan to add advertising in the coming months, and to expand their network of dating bloggers and photographers to around Europe and possibly New York and London by year end.
One of the main criticisms of the site has been that it is too hipster-centric - that most of its users are in their mid-to-late 30s and photogenic. Kralisch-Pehlke says that while the site does skew young, she and Müller try to find a balance among the applications they receive.
"I wouldn't say that everyone is super attractive or hot," Kralisch-Pehlke says. "But that's just my taste. Obviously, if some sketchy shirtless guy with a cat on his shoulder sends us an application, we're going to reject him. But you can see that we put a lot of love into every profile. Our users trust us to make them look good, and I think we do a good job."