Living in fear

Raed Athamnah says he's on his way to meet a Norwegian television crew. As a freelance journalist, he helps journalists from other countries find the information they need in the Gaza Strip. Today, there are many reporters in the region because of the brief ceasefire between Hamas and Israel. But they have also come to see where four children from the Bakr family were killed in a missile attack on Wednesday (16.07.2014) while playing at the beach in view of numerous journalists.

In its 10th day, the conflict has killed 214 people and nearly 1,700 more have been injured in the Gaza Strip, according to the United Nations Office for the Coordination of Humanitarian Affairs (OCHA). One Israeli has also been killed during the violence.

Athamnah comes from Beit Hanoun, a small town in northern Gaza that has been a major target of Israeli attacks. Its residents have been receiving air raid warnings almost daily, via flyers and radio. They are usually told to leave their houses, but Athamnah has never done so.

"Where should I go with my family?" he asks. "Here everything is so densely populated. It does not matter where you are, it's dangerous. In every neighborhood there is some resident affiliated with Hamas. But most of the people killed up till now had nothing to do with Hamas."

Safer indoors

This is the first time in days that Athamnah has dared to venture outside. More people are out and about again, he points out, and this makes him happy. "Most of them are getting food supplies," he says. "We don't know if the fighting will continue or not."

He spent the last few days inside his apartment together with his wife and eight children, keeping far away from the windows.

"Whenever there's a missile or fighter jet overhead, the walls of our house begin to shake," says Athamnah. "We are up at night because most of the air raids happen then." And while he has already lived through a lot of violent conflicts in Gaza, he says the latest attacks have been particularly intense.

Over 1,600 houses in Gaza have been destroyed, leaving 9,000 people homeless. According to aid organizations Handicap International and Doctors of the World, four ambulances and six hospitals have been damaged by Israeli airstrikes, as well as a rehabilitation center for people with disabilities. There is a shortage of doctors and medicine.

Short on basics

Athamnah not only takes care of his ailing father, but also provides for his whole extended family. An estimated 45 relatives are dependent on his income. "I get a lot of inquiries from various media outlets, but often it's simply too dangerous to leave the house," he says.

For the last two days, Athamnah's family has not had any running water at home. According to Adnan Abu Hasan, spokesperson for the United Nations Relief and Works Agency for Palestine Refugees in the Near East (UNRWA), the water pumps have been bombed and there is only five or six hours of electricity per day.

Athamnah says his phone's battery is low. There are times when he or his relatives cannot be reached at all by telephone - and then everyone worries that something could have happened. Based on past experience, they have reason to worry. During an Israeli air raid in 2006, 18 family members were killed at once when their house was completely destroyed.

"I don't know where I found the strength to build a new house, but that one got bombed to pieces as well during the 2008-2009 military offensive," says Athamnah.

The 43-year-old now lives in his third house, still in Beit Hanoun, but further south than before, further away from the Israeli border. The situation is already difficult enough without the added risk of being close to the border, he says.

Uncertain future

Locals follow the news on television when there is electricity. "Here there's only news about death and missiles," says Athamnah bitterly. "How should I explain this to my children?"

This is why he and his wife spend a lot of time playing with their children, especially the younger ones. "We try our best to distract them - but of course they ask me sometimes why all of this is happening," says Athamnah. The children have been suffering from nightmares lately.

"I keep trying to explain to them that violence is never the solution to problems," he continues. "But it's so hard to convey this message in a believable way when this kind of thing keeps happening."

Even when the fighting is over, Gaza's fundamental problems will still be there, he points out. Since 2007, when Hamas took power, the region's 1.5 million residents have been suffering the consequences of the Israeli blockade, which has exacerbated the already existing problems of overpopulation and general supply shortages.

Athamnah has worked with international media for nearly 20 years now. For the same amount of time neither he nor his wife has been allowed to leave the Gaza Strip.

"We are cut off from the outside world here," explains Athamnah. "My only links to the outside are the foreign journalists that I meet."

But there is one thought that comforts him: "Through my work I can at least make the world see how we live here and what it means to be caged in and have to start from scratch after every war."

He would like to travel one day - see what it feels like to move around freely. But he would still return to Gaza, he says, because "this is where I live, this is my home."