German Judge Clears Ruthless Restaurant Robber

What is the world coming to, we ask ourselves, when unsuspecting, righteous members of society can no longer rely on the support of Germany's judicial system? Will the country plunge into yet another recession by causing betrayed entrepreneurs to pack up and leave?

Here is what happened: This week, judges in Germany's financial capital Frankfurt sided with a kitchen helper at a restaurant who had the audacity to ignore her boss' explicit warning that it was absolutely verboten to take home food without paying.

Believe it or not, but this lady -- if you can call her that -- dared to eat a yoghurt, valued at a minimum of 40 euro cents (that's a whopping 50 US cents). Luckily, the employers found out about the crime and did what they had to do: They fired the woman immediately.

Taking her case before a judge, the woman argued that the yoghurt had already been past its expiration date -- as if that really mattered. At least the court didn't care about that particular point, either. Judges did, however, say that technically the woman had not breached company rules since she ate the stolen yoghurt on the premises rather than taking it to her home.

Seems like the poor restaurant owners will have to be even more careful when they read new employees the riot act. If they can find new employees, that is.