Domestic violence in East Africa: How to break the taboo?

Violence against women occurs everywhere. At the moment, Uganda is mourning a particularly prominent victim of gender-based violence after the death of local sporting icon Rebecca Cheptegei. She died in Kenya last week as the result of a brutal act of domestic violence.

According to police reports, Cheptegei's long-term partner, Dickson Ndiema Marangach, a Kenyan, poured petrol over the athlete last Sunday and set her alight at the home Cheptegei and Marangach shared. Neighbors hurried to save her, but the 33-year-old mother of two died of her injuries in hospital on Thursday.

Most victims suffer in silence

Hassan Sekajoolo is a team leader at Ubuntu Gender Equality Network, a Ugandan organization working with men and boys toward equality and justice.

"The mood in Uganda is sour," he told DW. "People are sad that such a talent was lost to domestic violence." Many are demanding that justice be done, he said.

Cheptegei had a high profile both in Uganda and internationally. At the recent Olympic Games in Paris, she charmed sports fans while running her debut marathon.

Her death at the hands of her partner is not the first case involving high-profile African athletes. In 2021, long distance runner Agnes Tirop was killed in Iten, western Kenya, while in 2022, another distance runner, Damaris Mutua, was found dead, also in Kenya. In both cases, authorities identified the women's partners as the main suspects.

While prominent cases like these often trigger public debate, most women in the region dealing with similar issues do so in silence.

In November 2021, a survey by the Ugandan Bureau of Statistics found that 95% of all women and girls in the country had experienced physical or sexual violence at some point. In a 2023 report, the Afrobarometer project noted that police statistics in Uganda included 272,737 instances of domestic violence between 2015 and 2021. Those included 2,278 homicides most likely committed by the victims' partners.

Stigma surrounds domestic violence

Half of those surveyed by Afrobarometer said violence against women and girls was commonplace in their neighborhoods. And most people also believed that domestic violence was a private matter, something that should be dealt with within the family.

The stigma around domestic violence is a serious problem, and Ubuntu's Sekajoolo works with families in Kampala to try and break free of those stereotypes and taboos.

"The children learn violence from the man and nonviolence from the mother," he explained. "Our findings show that [in] the households where we have worked, violence reduces drastically, by up to 40%. We're also seeing that children in households that have a different understanding about violence … they restrain themselves." 

Having said that, traditional gender stereotypes tend to be reinforced when the children are back at school.

"We want men to make joint decisions, [to have] joint discussions with women," said Sekajoolo. "We want men to be able to talk to other men and to be able to change [societal] structures because our society is predominantly controlled by men."

He believes men need to play a larger role in changing society to make it is less oppressive and dangerous for females.

As part of Ubuntu's work, Sekajoolo said men are asked to question the cultural and religious norms that disadvantage and disempower women. Women also need to be in positions of greater economic power. But as a result of all this, the men often feel threatened or uncertain, he told DW.

"The men don't know how they should behave with stronger women," said Sekajoolo.

Abuse is intergenerational

In January 2024, thousands of people in Kenya protested ongoing violence against women and demanded an end to femicide.

In a patriarchal society, children often see violence at home first with their parents and then copy it, said Zipporah Nyangara Mumbi, who heads Haven of Dreams, an organization based in the Kenyan city of Nakuru focused on psychosocial support and youth empowerment.

These cycles of violence damage people and for some women, it leads to the hope that maybe next time, their partner won't assault them. So it prevents women in abusive relationships from leaving, Mumbi told DW.

Since 2016, at least 500 women and girls have been murdered in Kenya, according to Africa Data Hub, a regional network that tracks such murders, despite all efforts in the country to prevent gender-based violence.

The United Nations Entity for Gender Equality and the Empowerment of Women, more commonly known as UN Women, argues that violence against women in Kenya is tolerated in local society. There, 42% of women and 36% of men believe that in certain circumstances it is justified for a man to hit a woman, UN Women reports.

The people at Haven of Dreams are working on helping victims of trauma to work through their suffering and they see further educating men — and society in general — as one of their greatest challenges.

"There is the cultural resistance that we face, especially in our communities," Mumbi told DW. "In some cultures there is the notion that women are supposed to be seen, and not to be heard. That makes it difficult to even have conversations with men."

Even though the brutal murder of star athlete Cheptegei is once again bringing these problems to public attention, the road to a truly violence-free and equal life for women and girls is a long one, according to activists working in the sector.

Additional reporting: Wakio Mbogho.

This story was originally written in German.