Beckham's Abdication Leaves No Hair to the Throne

Unless he decides to wear a curly wig or attach a stick-on ponytail to his bald pate, David Beckham will not be making any headlines this year with his latest hairstyle. Reverting back to the shaven headed look of 2001, the England captain will not be the focus of these European Championships when it comes to tresses. Gone are the extreme Mohawks of the pre-World Cup games of 2002 and the rooster cut of the tournament itself, Becks will have to stand aside this time to let a new King of the Coiffeur take center stage in Portugal.

But who could carry such a weight? Beckham was more than man enough to take on the mantle once held by Ruud Gullit's Rasta mop, the perennial perm of Rudi Völler and the rat tail of Roberto Baggio. In fact, no other footballer has ever inspired so many copycat hair atrocities. There were even reports that female fans in Japan were styling their pubic hair in the style of the Becks Mohawk.

Sadly, there seems to be very few stars at Euro 2004 willing to let their hair down or inspire trends to such an extreme. The majority of the Northern European players look all very tidy but ever so boring with their trainee police officer short-back-and-sides haircuts. Even the wild man look of Spain's Carles Puyol and the glossy Latin locks of the Italian boys pale into insignificance compared to the "cornrows" sported by Mr. Posh on England's South African tour last year.

Maybe someone like veteran Latvia defender Mihails Zemlinskis, with his Eastern European "soccer shocker" mullet, could play Prince Regent until a worthy successor comes along. The football may end up being breath-taking in Portugal but Euro 2004 looks set to be devoid of any hair-inspired highlights.