40 Days of Silence

Last week something incredible happened: Deutsche Telekom, the monopoly that owns all of Germany's phone lines, publicly apologized to its customers for its terrible service -- a difficult-to-reach customer service center as well as ridiculous lines at their branch offices were among the grievances for which Telekom asked forgiveness.

I am not a Telekom customer, but the apology gave me some meager satisfaction, despite its transparency as a corporate ploy to keep customers from leaving. More than two million threw in the towel in 2006, and Telekom is behind my 40-day wait for a telephone and Internet.

Some would call the word "monopoly" to describe Telekom unfair, since in fact competitors exist. However, these competitors have to rent lines from Telekom, making the firm de facto controller of all German communications technology outside of cellular phones. It was from one of these quasi-competitors that I decided to buy Internet and phone upon arriving in Germany in September.

German bureaucracy

Telekom's minimum service contracts, from one to two years for especially well-priced packages, were impractical for my planned 10-month stay. The provider I chose, in turn, had to wait for Telekom to give the "okay" to rent the line, a process which mysteriously took 40 days. The apartment was already equipped for Internet and phone, so the problem wasn't technological, but rather bureaucratic.

To punish its competitors, Telekom pursues a policy of marked inefficiency in renting the lines. So for nearly six weeks, a time period crucial for maintaining contact with home after arriving in a new country, I had no source of communication behind my front door.

My family and friends were incredulous.

"But it's Germany," they would say in conversations conducted from phone booths in tele-cafes. "It's a first-world country."

Waiting for Telekom

I fed the same line to an employee of the company from which I had ordered Internet, claiming: "This isn't India! It shouldn't take over a month!"

He sighed wearily and said, "I know. But we are waiting for Telekom."

A later conversation disproved my prejudice: a friend in India informed me her Internet was set up in under two weeks.

Still progressive

Germany is progressive: It is staunchly anti-nuclear, led the push to fight global warming and create the Kyoto Protocol, and each household has at least three different wastebaskets for recycling. For all the haughty American talk about Germany's "bloated welfare state," it is this system that has prevented urban ghettos from arising, in contrast to the United States, where poor social conditions cripple segments of the population.

And yes, the infamous efficiency and punctuality do exist and improve quality of life. Take Berlin's public transportation as an example: Traversing a landmass 10 times the size of Manhattan takes half the time.

So why this hiccough? Why this ripple in modern convenience? One thing is for sure: no one is happy with the situation. A distressed friend told me: "Please don't dislike Germany because of this! It's not a German thing; it's a Telekom thing. Everyone wants them to change."

Chancellor Angela Merkel's government has a lot on its plate, including economic reform and establishing working relationships with Bush and Putin. But one hopes that an initiative to remove Telekom's virtual monopoly will somehow work its way into this schedule. After all, Germany is a world power, and it might be embarrassing if Bush and Putin knew how long it takes to get a telephone set up.

Arden Pennell grew up in New York City and went to university in California and Germany, where she studied art and environmental history. She currently lives in Berlin, dividing her time between writing, cooking and walks through the history-laden streets.